Make no mistake – regardless of who wins the election in November, the hatred we’ve witnessed will persist long after Donald Trump is gone. He isn’t the cause, but he has amplified something deeply unsettling within the American psyche. We’ve uncovered a hidden nest of cockroaches, previously unseen. The question now is: how do we move forward?

We have two choices:

1. Respond with hatred.

2. Respond with compassion, forgiveness, and kindness.

I suggest choosing the latter.

Let’s begin by asking: Why does a person hate another? Hatred stems from seeing someone as “less-than.” If I don’t recognize the humanity in a Black person, I can look down upon him or her as inferior. If I don’t see Trump supporters as human beings, prone to mistakes like all of us, I can hate and look down upon them.

Donald Trump and his supporters view the world in black-and-white terms: a basic tribalism, an us-versus-them mentality. Americans are good, immigrants are bad; Trump is good, Democrats are bad. In short, we are good, and they are bad. There’s a clear unwillingness to take accountability and see the flaws in this perspective.

It’s evident from even a basic observation of Trump’s character that he exhibits narcissistic tendencies. He is psychologically unwell and, like many who are sick, unable to acknowledge his illness. This applies to his supporters as well. A leader reflects the consciousness of their supporters – if a leader lacks empathy, it is because the supporters also lack empathy.

Can we expect someone suffering from a mental illness, and their equally unwell supporters, to behave in an emotionally healthy manner? Of course not. Just as we don’t expect someone with Down Syndrome to perform basic arithmetic, we can’t expect a mentally ill person to behave emotionally healthily.

An emotionally healthy individual has empathy for others, the ability to put themselves in another’s shoes, and the respect to choose their words and intentions wisely. How can a narcissist show empathy or respect while acknowledging nothing but their own selfish impulses? How can someone with a grandiose sense of self see that grandiosity as a weakness? It’s not possible! This leads us to the only answer: we must treat such a person with compassion and forgiveness.

So, if you hate someone who hates you, are you not also unwell? Are you not operating from a limited understanding of the other?

Trump and his supporters are clearly on the wrong side of humanity – it’s natural they will vehemently deny this. That’s okay. Remember the mantra repeated on this website: IT’S OKAY. Everyone makes mistakes, as this group clearly has; the arc of understanding may be long, but these individuals will eventually learn from their mistakes. You and I have made countless mistakes and had to learn from them. Wouldn’t we want those we’ve hurt to forgive our shortcomings? So, we must forgive these individuals their shortcomings. In doing so, you can be at peace with them and let the animosity go. You will no longer demonize them as they may demonize you; you will not be antagonized by their efforts to antagonize you. You will refuse to engage in kind and simply let them be. Therefore, you can say to yourself that Donald Trump and his supporters hate you, and that’s okay.

Hatred will only cause you to hold on to it further; only forgiveness will allow you to truly let go. Admittedly, this is very difficult for many of us. Trust me, as someone who has been on this path for a considerable time, it still happens to me occasionally. We live in a world filled with constant labeling and judgment. But if you’ve made the mistake of hating Trump or a Trump supporter, forgive yourself for feeling this way. You too can make mistakes and learn from them… and that’s okay.