The U.S. 2020 Election: Compassion for Donald Trump

Make no mistake: no matter who wins the election in November, the hatred we’ve seen will last long after Donald Trump is gone. He didn’t create it, but he has made something deeply troubling in the American mind much louder. It’s as if we lifted a rock and found a nest of cockroaches we never knew was there. The question now is: how do we move forward?

We have two choices:

1. Respond with hatred.

2. Respond with compassion, forgiveness, and kindness.

I suggest the second.

Let’s start by asking: why does one person hate another? Hatred comes from seeing someone as “less than.” If I don’t see the humanity in a Black person, I can look down on them as inferior. If I don’t see Trump supporters as human beings who make mistakes like all of us, I can hate them and look down on them too.

Donald Trump and his supporters see the world in black and white. It’s simple tribe-against-tribe thinking, us versus them. Americans are good, immigrants are bad. Trump is good, Democrats are bad. In short, we are good, and they are bad. And there’s a clear refusal to take responsibility, or to see what’s wrong with thinking this way.

Even a quick look at Trump’s character shows signs of narcissism: an inflated sense of his own importance and a deep need for admiration. He is mentally unwell, and like many people who are sick, he can’t admit it. The same goes for his supporters. A leader reflects the people who follow him. If a leader has no empathy, it’s because his followers have none either.

Can we expect someone who is mentally ill, and followers who are just as unwell, to behave in an emotionally healthy way? Of course not. Just as we wouldn’t expect someone with Down Syndrome to do basic arithmetic, we can’t expect a mentally ill person to act in an emotionally healthy way.

An emotionally healthy person has empathy for others. They can put themselves in someone else’s shoes, and they respect others enough to choose their words and intentions carefully. How can a narcissist show empathy or respect when all they can see are their own selfish urges? How can someone with an inflated sense of self see that as a weakness? They can’t! That leaves only one answer: we have to treat a person like this with compassion and forgiveness.

So if you hate someone who hates you, aren’t you unwell too? Aren’t you also seeing only a small part of who that person is?

Trump and his supporters are clearly on the wrong side of humanity, and naturally, they will strongly deny it. That’s okay. Remember the phrase I repeat throughout this website: IT’S OKAY. Everyone makes mistakes, and this group clearly has. It may take a long time, but they will eventually learn from their mistakes. You and I have made countless mistakes and had to learn from them. Wouldn’t we want the people we’ve hurt to forgive us? So we must forgive them, too. When you do, you can be at peace with them and let go of the hostility. You won’t turn them into monsters, even if they do that to you. You won’t take the bait when they try to provoke you. You’ll refuse to fight back in kind, and simply let them be. So you can say to yourself: Donald Trump and his supporters hate me, and that’s okay.

Hatred only makes you hold on tighter. Only forgiveness lets you truly let go. I’ll admit this is very hard for many of us. Trust me: I’ve been on this path for a long time, and it still happens to me now and then. We live in a world full of labels and judgment. But if you’ve made the mistake of hating Trump or a Trump supporter, forgive yourself for feeling that way. You can make mistakes and learn from them too… and that’s okay.